Dear bros wearing celtic hoodies because they "look cool,"

Don't promise three alcoholics a round of drinks at a place that "doesn't" card. We're not interested in being your therapists and listening to you bitch about your manipulative slut of a girlfriend. We're definitely not interested in hearing your belligerent WT buddy sing Evanescence songs or watching him get kicked out of the bar for trying to "stick it to the man," who was an easy going waitress. We are interested in free alcohol, and if you can't deliver, we're going to Tokyo--a city in Northern Illinois.



Love,
Unstoppable Drinking Champion of the World